Their joyous defecation is interrupted by a fight breaking out on the street between two thugs, one of whom has really gross, really greasy long hair. And I thought finding a public bathroom in Times Square was a miserable experience. What was that stick thingy he used for toilet paper? Double gross. He and So-lame-ius are talking politics and money and whatever as they visit an outdoor men’s room. So-lame-ius is all into her, but Batty’s like, “Nah-ah, stud, she’s a ho bag. We all know what that means: a montage of slow-motion getting of the freak on.Ī pleased Batty and company wander down the super filthy street, and who do they run into but Gaia, an old buddy of Lucretia’s who clearly went to school at the Acts Like Ilithyia Drama Academy. Gannicus fights an impressive battle against his opponent, and in a shocking twist absolutely no one saw coming, totally wipes the floor with him.īatty gives the order for Gannicus to be “properly rewarded” for his victory. Okay, I happen to have some experience with Australians, and let me tell you – yeah, they’re pretty much all this hot. He’s a new character and his name’s Gannicus, played by Australian actor Dustin Clare.Īnd he’s really ugly and out of shape. This is nothing like the posh digs we saw in the first season which are currently under construction over yonder and shown to us in a way that is totally not meant to be metaphorical.īatty is all fussy that he isn’t in the good seats, but Lucretia tells him he’ll get his due eventually (ha!) and then our three anti-heroes get all in a tizzy when Batty’s main man shows up for his turn in the arena. When last we left this ridonculously awesome plasma-bath of a show, our boy Spartacus had just led an uprising that left buckets of Roman blood literallly running out from underneath the villa’s front door and performed an epic slitting of the throat of his master, Batiatus.Īs the prequel opens, we see Batty going down for the count at the end of the first series, his life flashing before his eyes, and suddenly we’re transported to five years in the past, when he, his wife Lucretia Lawless (aka freaking Xena), and their enemy-only-now-he’s-their-friend-so-it’s-significant So-lame-ius are checking out a gladiator match in a totally ghetto arena (sort of like the park near my apartment). (Come on, hot men doing things with swords in ancient times with a comic book aesthetic? It’s a perfect fit!) Our fearless editor Michael Jensen let me out of my SGM Seeks LTR in NYC cage to stretch my legs, and was kind enough to give me a crack at this freaky-sexy-crazy show. That’s right, there’s a brand new Spartacusrecapper in town taking over the reins from Tim O’Leary, and his name is JT Rilacus. What is up, you frothy-mouthed, blood-thirsty lunatics?!
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